Feminine Amenities Director
Tuesday, January 16, 2007 | link | posted by Purring |



10 Comments:
Blogger KaraMia had this to say:

pay to pee? That's talkin Crazy I say!

9:37 PM 

Blogger Webmiztris had this to say:

having a Feminine Amenities Director in the bathroom annoys the hell out of me! lol

first of all, I have a hard time going if there's someone in there. second of all, I don't like having to pay to pee!

having someone like that in a BAR? where I'd be in there every 5 minutes?

I.would.die!

but seriously, DeeDee sounds like fun. and no doubt, she's probably making more money than me...lol!

11:51 AM 

Anonymous Anonymous had this to say:

Seriously--who ever wants a stick of gum that's been chillin' with the Feminine Amenities Director next to the Aqua Net for the last, oh, I don't know, 20 years in the bar bathroom??!

Not me!!

xo
K

www.downtownadventures.blogspot.com

2:46 PM 

Blogger Sornie had this to say:

Why can't the ladies buy the single guy a drink sometimes? Not complaining, just wondering...

3:32 PM 

Blogger Oh great One had this to say:

Gotta love someone who makes the most of their job. You can't help but leave with a smile on your face.

8:34 PM 

Blogger Maja had this to say:

It's probably okay if you didn't have to pay for your drinks, anyway!

4:06 PM 

Anonymous TSM-terrifically superiorily mediocre had this to say:

You met Ted Nugent? Cool! Yes, that's a very 80s thing for me to say.

I'm still sitting here wondering how on earth a Feminine Amenities Director would fit in the tiny little sh*thole bathrooms of the bars we karaoke at. I suppose the word karaoke answers my question.

Looking forward to reading more of your blogs. I'm new here!

-Tracy
www.tsm.serveblog.net

6:44 PM 

Blogger Anti-Blogger had this to say:

Always wondered...what is it like to pee a jello shot?

9:15 PM 

Blogger {illyria} had this to say:

color me jealous.

4:03 AM 

Blogger Andy Land had this to say:

You probably have no idea how many porn surfers are going to find your blog now. lol

10:02 PM 

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So I've been gone a long time. Booo Hisss...I know. Bad blogger. Please forgive me. It's been so hectic as of late and I can't seem to catch-up. In fact, I'm so behind, I think I'm first. Work, Thanksgiving, work, housekeeping, wrapping presents, travel, Christmas, work, New Years, work, travel/work, travel. Sheesh. I barely have time to sleep and when I do it seems I have a knee belonging to JJ or an ass belonging to the dog...Right. In. My. Face. Wanna kiss?

Just got back from the SHOT Show. Awesome. Ted Nugent and I really bonded. In fact, I'm sure his body guards were on the lookout for the 'stalker' after I launched myself into his arms for a hug. I'm kidding. He was very nice. Autographed my map for me. I did take a picture too, but it was an afterthought so it's of him signing an autograph for someone else. After that we heckled the professional Stump Standers. More commonly known as the SuperhotguysmodelingMossyOakwear. Damn hot and not just from standing under the hot lights. I loves me some five o'clock shadow.

But that's not all we did. For FOUR DAYS we trudged and plodded through 17 MILES of manly hunting/shooting/outdoor exhibitors making our sales pitch. It was truly fun. Especially when we went to Howl at the Moon. Not an exhibit but an awesome dueling piano bar.

I was whiny because my co-worker dared to wake me after some potential clients called us to go out. Needless to say I was quite irritable about bandaging my blisters, slathering on some deodorant and dragging a brush through my nappy hair just so they'd be entertained. Bah!

Turned out to a be a really great night. The bar was packed, guy to girl ratio 50:1. We barely spent a dime because someone was always shoving a drink in our hand. I met a guy that played with young, good-looking Elvis, Jerry Lee Lewis and Nitty Gritty Dirt Band. We sang two rousing choruses of "Fishin' in the Dark", much to the dismay of all the poor patrons around us. His name was Dirt. I kid thee not! I loved him!! All his cronies from Cabellas, and his wife and daughters vouched for him. Then I rubbed elbows with a Seattle Seahawk. VERY nice. Handsome. Married with kids. Josh, or Jake, or Jacobsen/Johnson...I have no idea. He's out with a ham string injury. Or was out...years ago? But he had a Super Bowl ring on and it's the size of a freakin' ping pong ball. I spent some time massaging it. The ring, not the Seahawk. Pretty magnificent. There was also a big obnoxious guy who used to play for the Miami Dolphins. He was yuck. Didn't like him at all.

My favorite person of the evening BY FAR? DeeDee. Normally I'm rather irritated that I have to fork out a tip to some sullen bitch in the bathroom just to pee. WHICH I might point out...is frequently when I drink. To me this simply isn't fair. I paid to pour it down my gullet, why should I have to pay to use the facilities? I can't help it if my pee-flap becomes inebriated and I have go every five minutes can I? It's double dippin' as far as I'm concerned. I pay to drink, I pay to give it back. I may as well sit on the john all night and pour drinks between my legs. It'd save me some time. Not to mention the chafing of the cooch after wiping 70 times with that wonderfully thin public T.P.

Anyhoo...DeeDee rocked! She not only greeted you cheerfully when you came in; she would hold your beer in a safe place, sing and dance to the music in the bar, tell jokes to the girls waiting in line, help the waitresses sell their little jello shots when they came in to pee. She squirted the soap for you, offered life stories and had a towel ready for you when you needed to dry and then she'd hand you your beer! ALL WITH A BEAMING SMILE! DeeDee is my nominee for Feminine Amenities Director of the Year. I promised I'd write about her. Hugs to you DeeDee.


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Purring

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